In previous essay tips, we advised candidates—with respect to their personal statements—to contextualize their academic objectives and ensure that their essays are truly personal; an additional concept to consider is bringing focus to your professional needs. We at mbaMission have found that many candidates attempt to cover all of their reasons for targeting a specific MBA program and ironically, as a result, make a weak argument.
Example 1:
“As an aspiring entrepreneur, I need Professor John Smith’s Fundamentals of Finance course. I also need skills in marketing and will take Small Business Marketing and Internet Marketing. I will need to supervise the operations at my firm and look forward to the Operations Challenge. My leadership skills will be tested, but I will have access to the XYZ Leadership Center. Finally, I will look to the Strategy Seminar series to round out my management skills.”
We can identify a variety of problems with the paragraph above, but the most pressing is that it is simply a list of reasons to attend an unspecified MBA program and not a thorough discussion of how this particular MBA program meets the candidate’s needs.
This candidate would be better off focusing his/her argument on just two or three crucial elements (depending on the length of the essay) and exploring them in depth (most likely via a dedicated paragraph per item). In the following example, we will assume that the candidate is applying to Columbia Business School and that his/her primary academic need is in entrepreneurship:
Example 2:
“As an aspiring entrepreneur, I find Columbia’s academic offerings in this field—particularly, Introduction to Venturing and Launching New Ventures—very attractive, but I am truly compelled by the experiential opportunities provided by the Lang Center. I would aspire to join the Entrepreneurial Greenhouse, a crucial opportunity for me to nurture and grow my idea during its most vulnerable stages, and I would complement this experience by taking advantage of the constructive feedback of experienced entrepreneurs via the Entrepreneurial Sounding Board. Only with this combination of…”
In the first example, we have a chaotic argument that moves in many different directions. In the second, the reader focuses on a main concept and is thus far more persuasive and able to connect with the reader.
Since Wednesday, when we first announced that Jeremy Shinewald, mbaMission’s founder and president, would be leading a Long-Term Planning seminar online, in conjunction with Manhattan GMAT, we have been inundated with sign-ups and are now completely “sold out” (though the event is free). So, we are adding a second (free!) Long-Term Planning session on Wednesday, April 29th, at 8:30 PM EST. You will be able to login from anywhere around the world.
Sign up soon. This one also has limited availability.
On April 28th at 8:30 PM EST, history will be made: mbaMission will be co-hosting its first online event ever. On the strength of a packed event at Manhattan GMAT’s New York location, mbaMission will be presenting another Long-Term Planning seminar, only this event will not be location specific. So, from anywhere around the world, you can join us on April 28th to ensure that you are doing everything possible to be competitive for the year ahead. You will even be able to submit questions to mbaMission’s founder and president, Jeremy Shinewald, who will be leading the event. We look forward to “seeing” you there…
Mission Admission is a series of MBA admission tips; a new one is posted each Tuesday.
As candidates start to contemplate next year’s application cycle, many wonder if they still have sufficient time to improve their candidacies. Some wonder if it might be too late to take on community activities. Won’t the Admissions Committee see through these transparent attempts to impress? Well, the key is to make sure that your activities are not transparent but are meaningful. If you commit yourself entirely to an organization and have an immediate impact, then you will have a story to tell, regardless of the time spent with the organization.
Consider the case of an individual who had a family member who was unfortunately afflicted with a rare disease. On his own initiative, this individual raised a significant sum for a charitable foundation related to this disease and was then asked to take a leadership role within the foundation. This entire sequence of events occurred in just three months and yet still constitutes a great story because the individual showed initiative, entrepreneurship, maturity, community mindedness and other such qualities—not because of years of involvement. So, as you contemplate your plans for the next few months, focus on the depth of your commitment, not the time frame.
Last week we launched our survey of people interested in pursuing an MBA. So far, many have participated, but we would love to hear from more of you. We would greatly appreciate it if you would share your thoughts with us.
Our survey should take about 10 minutes to complete. Please complete the survey by Friday, March 20. By completing the survey, you can then enter to win an iPod Touch or one of two new iPod Shuffles.
A first-of-its-kind, on-demand MBA application experience that delivers a personalized curriculum for you and leverages interactive tools to guide you through the entire MBA application process.
