There is an old journalistic maxim\u2014\u201cShow, don\u2019t tell,\u201d\u2014 that demands that writers truly illustrate the actions involved in an event or story and not just state the results of what happened.<\/p>\n
Tell (Results Oriented):<\/p>\n
\u201cI arrived at ABC Bank and took on a great deal of responsibility in corporate lending. I managed diverse clients in my first year and earned the recognition of my manager. Because of my hard work, initiative and leadership, he placed me on the management track, and I knew that I would be a success in this challenging position.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n In these two sentences, the reader is told that the applicant \u201ctook on a great deal of responsibility,\u201d \u201cmanaged diverse clients\u201d and \u201cearned recognition,\u201d none of which\u00a0is substantiated via the story. Further, we are given no real evidence of the writer’s \u201chard work, initiative and leadership.\u201d<\/p>\n Show (Action Oriented):<\/p>\n \u201cAlmost immediately after joining ABC bank, I took a risk in asking management for the accounts left behind by a recently transferred manager. I soon expanded our lending relationships with a children\u2019s clothing retailer, a metal recycler and a food distributor, making decisions on loans of up to $1M. Although I had a commercial banking background, I sought the mentorship of our District Manager and studied aggressively for the CFA exam (before and after 14-hour days at the office); I was encouraged when the Lending Officer cited my initiative and desire to learn, placing me on our management track\u2026.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n In this second example, we see clear evidence of the writer’s \u201cgreat deal of responsibility\u201d (client coverage, $1M lending decisions) and \u201cdiverse clients\u201d (a children\u2019s clothing retailer, a metal recycler and a food distributor). Further, the candidate’s \u201chard work, initiative and leadership\u201d are clear throughout.<\/p>\n The latter is a more interesting, rich and humble paragraph\u2014one that is more likely to captivate the reader. By showing your actions in detail, you ensure that your reader draws the same conclusions, by offering facts that facilitate this. Essentially, facts become your evidence!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"