Most business schools will ask your recommenders to describe a weakness of yours or a time when they offered you constructive feedback. You may feel incredibly tempted to ask your recommenders to avoid writing anything critical or to present a “disguised strength” as a weakness. So your recommender might write something like one of the following entirely disingenuous statements, believing that doing so would helping you, when in fact, it would not:
- “John needs to learn to balance his work and home life better—he is always at work, making sure that he stays on top of every detail.”
- “Mary is a perfectionist and holds others, who just may not be capable, to the same high standard that she holds herself.”
Alternatively, a recommender who is afraid of hurting your candidacy may write about a “professional development” weakness, focusing on a business skill that you have not yet had the opportunity to learn or develop, rather than describing an area in which you need to improve:
- “Rodney is an excellent communicator in small group settings; he has not, however, had the opportunity yet to give presentations to large groups, and I think doing so is the next important step in his career path.”
- “To move to the next level, David needs to start sourcing his own deals, rather than just working on deals that others have found.”
This may be shocking, but admissions officers understand that the “perfect” employee/MBA candidate simply does not exist and are skeptical of the sincerity of any recommender that presents you as such. Such falsely positive comments do nothing to help the admissions committee get to know you better and instead undermine the integrity of your recommender’s letter. Although you do not want your recommenders to list unprofessional traits (e.g., “Denise is lazy”), recommendation letters should involve honest, detailed reflection using a critical (not negative) eye. Remember, with regard to recommendations, too much of a good thing can actually be a bad thing.